How to Become a Good Listener

Are you aware of how powerful the announcement of your voice can turn into a successful weapon in business life?

Imagine a moment when you have a couple of words to say, perhaps even on the eve of sharing an extremely sensitive subject. You would have the full attention of the other person, right?

This level of attention, that is, knowing that the person in front of you really listens to you makes you feel valuable. It makes you feel safe. You think someone really understands you and you feel really important. Being able to make your voice validates your being.

Now think of a time frame where you have something to say but you can’t get anyone’s attention. The person in front of you has difficulties in getting attention, constantly distracts, looks at his phone, clearly and clearly shows that he thinks about other things, or list his answers in a logical order without listening to what you are saying. Wouldn’t you see the inability to hear you, or even worse, their unwillingness, and shake your face as if you had a huge slap on your face?

Unfortunately, today, the art of being a good listener has become a skill that has disappeared. Face-to-face conversations, even telephone conversations, have ceased to be the primary means of communication. The new favorite of our interactions is e-mails and sms, where we write short and concise messages, but that is why we can be extremely misunderstood.

When it comes to face-to-face conversations, the same devices can turn us into one of Pavlov’s dogs, and as soon as we hear the notification sound, we turn our attention to the point where the sound comes. It is almost impossible to be a good listener when the future is constantly on alert for other important messages.

We all know how important it is to be a good listener, both in business and in our daily lives, because we are aware of how well we feel when we can make our voices heard. Most of us want to be active listeners and ensure that the people we care about experience this peaceful emotion. Of course, the ability to listen well is beyond supporting others or gaining their appreciation.

People with advanced listening skills;

  • They can develop solid relationships in their personal or professional lives because people tend to love those who listen.
  • They can solve problems much more successfully.
  • They strive to acquire different perspectives to broaden their perspectives.
  • They may have useful information to keep their success in life or career.
  • Thanks to their knowledge, they can make much easier decisions.
  • Being a good listener provides clarity to events and situations, so they can avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.
  • They can increase their credibility because they can access information and transfer it to others.

Being a good listener is decent and similar to behaving well. Although it is perceived as a quality that is not a social necessity in today’s world, when you manage to be a good listener, you will stand out from the crowds, turn into a person where others are eager to enter the field of attraction.

Well, would you like to sharpen your listening skills too? Then take a look at our article, which lists the tips on how to become a good listener:

8 Tips for Becoming a Good Listener:

1. Take the distractions out of your life.

How to Become a Good Listener

If you are going to talk to someone (or several people), take a moment to identify and eliminate things that can distract you. Turn off your mobile phone or take it away from your environment. Turn off your computer or turn it down so you can’t hear email or notification sounds. Be sure to turn off the TV, radio or other distracting devices.

If someone needs to talk to you and you are in the middle of an important project or task at that time, either ask them to wait until it’s over or take a break from your work and listen to the person. You can not be a real listener by doing many things at the same time.

If you are in a social environment and need to have a one-to-one conversation with someone, you should try to retreat to a quiet area where you will not be isolated from the environment or be disturbed by others. Oh, don’t miss your glances from the person in the middle of the conversation and start examining the surroundings to see who else is in your environment.

2. Pay attention to gestures, gestures and toning.

Hearing someone’s words is only a small part of being a good listener. We tell a lot more with our expressions, body language and tone of voice.

Listening to someone also requires being a good observer. Is the person in front of you sitting in a relaxed mode, where your arms are shirring with a self-defending effort or show your endless self-confidence? Is his expression so offended or anxious when trying to give the mood of “Everything is OK” with every word that comes out of his mouth?

You should also follow the way they reflect what they have to say. Is it tired, depressed or confused? Is it enthusiastic? Is it humming or speaks loudly? Or looking for answers to questions that aren’t?

Learn to read what people are saying beyond their words. This ability can help you become more compassionate and understanding towards people – and make you avoid dealing with deceptive, indifferent or controlling people. 

3. Be a mirror.

One of the best techniques for active listening is to reflect the person you are listening to. Try to reflect the same tone and way of speaking, without imitating them. You can also reflect their gestures and body language.

The mirror technique not only helps you adapt to the person in front of you, but also awakens the feeling that you share similar attitudes and ideas.

You can also reflect the ideas or opinions you have heard from the person in front of you, thus creating a strong perception that you can understand what you are saying and really listen to them. This is particularly important when you have close relationships or conflict situations.

For example, the person in front of you may say, “I am really sorry when he does not help me to get around after dinner.” It is possible to perceive and summarize the situation as follows: “As far as I understand, I cause my life to hurt when I do not help you in cleaning.” This kind of reflection sentence is perfect to show that you understand the person you speak to clearly and care about what is conveyed to you.

4. Empathize or show your interest in the topic.

It is possible to show your interest and interest in speaking through your own expressions, body language and words.

Confirming the person in front of you by shaking your head indicates that you are listening carefully and understanding. Smile or show your interest in a different way. Include words of affirmation and courtesy. To be able to establish empathy, contact the other person. It may be a good idea to shake your hand or pat your shoulder.

This refined communication style; it will give a message about the level of participation, anxiety, and interest in the person in front of you. 

5. Take advantage of silence.

Sometimes the best way to listen is to allow a certain amount of silence in the conversation. Not every speech requires a verbal answer, and this moment of silence that you create will encourage speakers to provide more information about what they think or feel.

A silence that will last more than a few seconds may make you uneasy, but you should ignore this feeling and learn to live with it. Sometimes the strongest communication is dry at the moment of silence.

6. Ask questions that are not superficial.

Why do life coaches or psychologists ask people in front of them that are too far from superficiality, and even ask questions that will have strong and profound meanings that will reveal answers and solutions for their lives?

That is why it would be appropriate to ask open-ended questions instead of short and clear answers such as “Yes” or “no” because open-ended questions bring a much deeper understanding between the two speakers and a healthy communication. Choosing your complementary questions from among the questions that lead you to think deeply, shows that you are listening to the person in front of you and not losing your attention.

Let’s add, you need to make sure that the questions you ask will not turn you into a query officer. First of all, you should devote much more time to asking questions to listen to the other person. When it’s time to finally ask questions, you should be careful to ask questions that are timely and free from threatening statements. “Can you open up this topic a little more?” Even asking a simple question like “will be enough to show that you are really listening to the other person.”

7. Don’t interrupt the other person or change the subject.

If you want to be a good listener, you must let the other person complete their thoughts without interruption. You have definitely come across people who often interfere with speech, constantly talk and have a hard time giving others a voice, and use people around them as a platform to talk about themselves or share their knowledge and expertise.

Wouldn’t you have the impression that they did not listen to a single word of what you said even if they were doing this unconsciously? Worse than that, it would be to think that they don’t really care what you say.

Before making any responses or analyzing the situation, make sure that the other person ends the conversation. Be sure to keep quiet enough or pause between them to make sure you have the order of speaking.

Also, avoid changing the subject suddenly, causing the person you are talking to to be left in the middle of the subject they are opening. Make sure to provide an answer or an additional idea of ​​the last topic before moving on to other topics you want to discuss.

8. Answer by thinking.

When it is your turn to speak, make sure that your words are a reflection of a careful listening. When you really pay attention to what the other person is saying, you don’t focus on what you have to say.

Instead of saying the first thing that comes to your mind, take a moment to think about your answer or the idea you will present. So, when asked for your opinion, you can offer well thought-out answers that you are sure to reflect carefully on what you hear.

Being a good listener is a skill you need to develop. It is only a matter of time before you break up and dive into the ideas, words, and distractions of your inner world. Therefore, your priority should be to try to be a good listener rather than a good speaker. Learn to read the expressions or body languages ​​of the people around you. Focus on things that are never spoken but can be transmitted to the other party.

As you improve your listening skills, you will realize that people will need your feedback or feedback more. You will have a skill that will give you an advantage both in your career and in your daily relationships.

What else do you need to do to become a better listener? Please feel free to share your thoughts with us.

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